Cute pictures and not much else

All at once I have lots to say and then jack shit to say. A real post will be forthcoming, I promise.

In the meantime, just so you know I didn't fall off the planet Earth (since I've totally sucked at keeping up with Facebook too), here are some pictures of the kids...

This is the new love of my life. My little boy freakin' rocks!

Here is Megan in her Easter garb. She's scaled her bed in an effort to get away from Liam -- since he's now into CONSTANTLY following her around. Poor thing, she better get used to it.

I am in awe that ANYONE with more than 1 kid (I still can't believe that *I* have more than 1 kid -- yay!) can get a decent picture of the two of them. These two are the best that I could scrape together after Church on Easter...

Here is what happens when a deer runs into your car (while your husband is driving, thankfully) at about a zillion miles an hour. You get a new hood, a new bumper, a new quarter panel and lots of other cool stuff while your car goes to live in the shop for two weeks. The deer goes to live in Bambi Heaven.

A lame post, I know. But that's about what we've had going on. I'm going to see Bean's little boy on Sunday and I simply cannot wait. Thankfully I've finally found something to get me as wildly excited as I have been for the last few days about the fact that Mel's book is coming early!! Wahoo!!

100% sad about the 27%

Total number of people in Braces Bunch (1st generation, 2nd generation, rotated off): 62

Those who have given birth and are not pregnant now: 24
Those who have given birth and are pregnant again (all without ART): 4
Those who are currently pregnant: 11
Those who adopted and are not pregnant now: 2
Those who adopted and are pregnant now: 1
Those who are still trying: 17
Those who are not trying: 2
Those who are unknown (pw protected blogs that I can't access): 2

Of the 62 women, 27% are still trying. 68% of these women have realized their dream of having children. While I should be dancing in the streets at that stat (especially because -- HELLO -- I'm one of them), I'm torn to pieces about the 27% still trying. Why? Why? It's just so unfair.

I've been thrown into a tailspin by my friend Rho's latest disappointment. IVF #6 was unsuccessful. I cheerily tried to point out that since this was the first time with donor sperm, it should really count as #1 again. But I couldn't pretend like that is true when I know what her body, her heart, and her ovaries have been through during those first 5 tries.

She is incredibly angry, and I can't blame her. She says she feels "stupid" and removed her blog entirely because she couldn't bear to look so "stupid." While you and I both know she is anything but stupid for working so hard to have a child, it doesn't help her right now. It is a crying shame when someone as wonderful as her is crushed by this bastard called IF.

This will be a the top of the list when I get to the Pearly Gates. In the meantime, I will continue to pray for any and all of my sisters in the trenches.

Don't Kiss the Nanny!

I bet you dollars to donuts that no one even reads this blog anymore. I'm not entirely sure why I still have it since I don't write up here. Ever. I suck.

I honestly feel like all of the interesting stuff I have left to say is communicated through comments to other folks. I've noticed a disturbing trend -- the less I blog, the longer my comments are for other people. I left a comment on JJ's blog the other day that was about as long as the last Harry.Potter book. It was truly in the category of Stupid Long.

Many times, I've thought about shutting the blog down entirely. But I still get too many hits on DHEA, miscarriage, IVF, secondary IF, and my pee stick pictures that I guess I'll leave it up. There's really no point in making some giant declaration about how I'm Not Going To Post Anymore because, um, hello? That's sort of self-evident.

I've even tried to tell myself that I'm not going to read and comment on other blogs. Hahahahaaaa, I simply can't do that. I opened up my bloglines in the hopes of trimming some of the 70+ links out so that I can get down to the basics. Guess how many blogs I dropped? Three. And only because they have closed down shop. I am entirely too invested in your struggles, joys, tragedies and triumphs to stop reading now. Especially because so many people supported me through my years of Hell, I don't feel that I've given back what I got yet.

Speaking of closing down shop, I was just about to delete the feed for Mary Ellen and Steve's blog when -- SHAZAM! She posted. And she's pregnant. WAHOO! So I'm glad I didn't do my Winter pruning before I got that update.

Anyway, I'll follow the current trend of ticking off a few bullets about what's new:

- Back in mid-February I started answering the interview questions that E sent to me. It rapidly degenerated into some insanely long post wherein I blathered on and on about completely random shit that wasn't even remotely connected to the topic. Therefore, until it gets edited a bit, I'll hold off on publishing it.

- I'd like to send up a giant FUCK YOU to the IF universe for (what seems like) a BFN for my friend Rho's 6th IVF (this time with DS). I mean, seriously? Why does this have to be so shitty?

- Daylight Savings Time is stupid. I can't believe that I'm going to lose another hour's sleep.

- Remember NannyGate 08? Well, the woman that we hired turned out to be a mean, conniving, rude old bat. She screwed us over, essentially milked us out of a couple hundred dollars, and left us stranded. The icing on the cake is that she never said goodbye to Megan, so my daughter is pretty confused and still seems to think the old bitch is coming back. It's VERY hard to be even remotely pleasant when discussing the witch, but I'm trying to be a good person and not let Megan see any of that. Meanwhile, I wrote the lying hag such a nasty letter that it made my eyes burn to read it. I felt great after that. Of course I realized that it wouldn't be in anyone's best interest to actually send said letter, so I edited it a bit and will be sending that version out sometime this week. Don't you worry your pretty little heads, though, it's still plenty scathing.

- We hired a new nanny and she ROCKS. I heart her so much I practically want to kiss her square on the mouth when she shows up each day. Although that would most likely have essentially the opposite effect of what I'm trying to accomplish (gratitude vs. creepiness).

- I got to see LJs gorgeous, amazing little boy. It was absolutely blissful -- snuggling that warm, wonderful, delightful smelling little guy was just heaven. I'm so happy for her I could burst. She's got about half a dozen blogs at this point, and despite the fact that I read them all, I have no idea if/where I should link for her.

- Work is kicking my ass. Because of all the nanny drama, and all of the extra duties related to this new role I took on, I feel like I'm on a treadmill and can't ever get caught up. That doesn't seem to be stopping me from typing this nice, meaty post (meaty in terms of word volume, not substance).

- Thank you to everyone who participated in the group gift for JJ. We got her lots of good stuff and it's been wonderful to finally get some information about little Oliver. Now if I could only get my ass in gear and finish the baby gift I started almost 2 months ago!! Good grief, at this rate the kid is going to be in college before I send it. Although it's lovely, it's not exactly college dorm room decor so I need to hop to it. (Like that Easter Bunny reference? I'm soooooo witty.)

- I have to imagine that you've all heard by now that Bean is on hospital bedrest. Things seem to be going well, but hop on over and entertain/distract her if you have some time.

- American Idol. If you haven't seen last night's show, don't read this. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK were they thinking bringing that stupid, obnoxious, batshit crazy asshole Tatiana back for the wildcard show? Honest to Pete, that was outrageously dumb. If she happens to make it into the top 12 [shudder], I will refuse to watch one single second of the show again until she is voted off. Viciously.

- Liam and Megan have been sick. Megan has had two ear infections for over 3 weeks now. We are on our 2nd round of antibiotics and I think it is finally starting to improve a little. Liam has had such a terrible cold that he needed to use the nebulizer in the doctor's office earlier this week. I've never seen such a sad, heart-wrenching sight with one of my kids. I know it's small potatoes compared to what many of you have been through (babies with serious medical problems, children who have had surgery, any NICU stay at all, etc.), but seeing his beautiful little face all scrunched up under that sterile, ugly mask just broke my heart. Not that I haven't already been sympathetic, but it gave me an even deeper appreciation for the stress and hurt that Shelby has been going through to get Seth's breathing issues addressed.

- I love craigslist. I have bought and sold a bunch of shit up here in the past 6 months. It's just truly magical to me. I'm about to list an assload of stuff to see if I can get rid of it before selling it at the consignment sale I do twice a year. I hope to made wads and wads of cash. Wahoo!

- I am a fat ass. I started a Biggest.Loser competition here at work. Astoundingly, 18 people signed up. It's been fun so far. I simultaneously started the Carbohydrate.Addict's Diet and have managed to shed about 4 pounds in the first week. Wish me luck!

- I'm excited about weaning Liam. I let my production falter quite a bit (sick and tired of pumping), and worked through almost all of my frozen stash. At Liam's 9 month appointment, I explained that we were going to start supplementing and asked what formula she recommended. I was shocked when she told me to go ahead and start him on cow's milk. So we did, and he loves it. Luckily, he still likes breastmilk too. Now the poor guy goes back and forth between nursing, bottles of breastmilk, and bottles of cow's milk. But he never skips a beat, we are lucky.

- In other holy-shit-my-baby-is-growing-up news, Liam is crawling (although mostly on his stomach), cruising, eating almost exclusively table food, saying "da da" (no "ma ma" yet), and has 6 teeth. He never, ever, ever, under any circumstances wants to SIT DOWN (unless you've accidentally left a TV or cable remote control, a microscopic Polly Pocket shoe, or some other blatent safety/choking hazard on the floor), and demands to walk holding on to your hands all around the house. Around and around and around and around. It's back-breaking but still fun. He's still sleeping fairly shitty and has decided that 30 minute naps during the day are super cool. But he's a great kid and was worth every dollar and minute of agony to have him.

Yup, I think that's it. I'm sure there's more useless stuff I could prattle on about, but surely your patience is waning. And, just in case you weren't listening the first time, FUCK YOU IF universe. You can suck it.

Hormonal much?

I tried to sit down and write a coherent, witty, entertaining post. All I managed to come up with were a bunch of random bullets. However, there was a clear theme -- my thoughts were either wildly HAPPY or horribly bitchy. In a fit of TMI, I will admit that I'm enduring a nasty visit from AF, so I'll assume that she's the whore to blame.


On to the good stuff:

• My birthday rocked. I thought turning 40 would be a lot more painful, but it wasn't. ETA: Damn, I need to update my profile now. Ugh.


• The amazing, smart, witty, talented and wonderful Jendeis sent me these flowers for my birthday. She is one helluva woman, they really made my day.


• My dad flew in from Florida to surprise me for my birthday. Yay!!


• Approximately 14 gazillion people wished me happy birthday over Facebook. I heart you Facebook. (Nevermind where I tell you to suck it later in this post. Hey, I already admitted I was not rational right now.)


• Megan has had off school for umpteen days in a row (parent teacher conferences, snow days, water main breaks). We've had lots of fun days at home -- making cookies, doing crafts, playing Barbies.


• Liam and I are FINALLY over the wretched colds we had for more than 2 weeks.


• Lots of wonderful people have contributed to JJ's group gift. I get to go BRU on Friday and buy up some baby gear. Yippee!


• I think that her belly is about the cutest thing ever.


• I can't wait to see her belly in person -- it makes me want to cry because I'm so freakin' happy for her.


• I can't wait to see her belly again too!!


• I am so out-of-my-mind excited for her baby to be born that I am having a hard time sleeping. Of course the birthmom is probably sleeping worse than me (as well as LJ, dontchathink?) seeing as how she's been in labor for what feels like a month now.


• My sister signed us up to take a cooking class together. This was probably the best birthday present I got!


• She is starting stims soon. This is the cycle, I just know it!! It's GOT to be.

Now for the bad stuff:

• Bloglines can suck it. I'm sick of seeing that I've got hundreds and hundreds of unread posts when there are really only 4. Piece of shit software.


• Facebook can suck it too. It bitched me out for sending the message about JJ's gift to too many people. Um, HELLO? I was trying to CONNECT with people. Isn't that the point? Assholes.


• Our nanny sucks. I've been interviewing people for the past couple of weeks with plans to replace her soon anyway but she's sucking more every day (and she doesn't even know she's getting replaced). I'm tired of her attitude, her passive agressive bullshit, her incessant family drama, and her refusal to perform basic tasks.


• Nintendo can eat shit and die. I hate it that my Mii is such a fat tub-o-lard on Wii Fit. Damn, people, I already KNOW that I'm fat. That's why I bought Wii Fit. At least that cute litty smartypants animated Wii Fit board went out of his way to wish me a happy birthday.


• Liam was healthy for a whopping 2 days before he got a fever this afternoon. Are you SERIOUS?


• Why in the holy hell does life need to continue to deal her and her so much dung? ENOUGH ALREADY!

I think that's enough for now. Thanks for listening. :-)

Giving back

There seem to be some bloggers that we all know... Mel, Geohde, Alexa, Heather, Serenity, Julia, Antigone, Julie. I would hurl myself in front of a train for a few of these ladies, I'm not too proud to admit.

There's another one that is extra, extra special to me... JJ at Reproductive Jeans. She is a truly amazing woman. She has her hand in about 100 things at one time, yet always seems to be able to lend support or kindness whenever it is needed. As the brainchild behind the Braces Bunch (Generations 1 and 2!), she has helped dozens and dozens of women connect and become just that much closer through our association with the group. (Much like how LJ facilitated the truly invaluable support offered by TOOTPU.)

Perhaps it's because she gave us the most touching and beautiful gift for Liam that we received. Perhaps it's because she has a voice like an angel (if you don't believe me, buy one of her CDs). Perhaps it's any one of the 263 ways that she touches other people's lives each week. Anyway, JJ is always so giving, I wanted to give a little back to her.

If you know JJ, you know that she is on hospital bedrest right now, awaiting the birth of her baby boy. He will be here very soon, and although it's earlier than expected, we are all no less excited. To help prepare for his arrival, I have set up a page where folks can donate to a group gift for JJ.

Initially, I began attempting to contact the dozens of ladies in the Braces Bunch individually. But after getting my virtual wrist slapped by Facebook for engaging in annoying and possibly spam-like behavior (screw you FB, hmmmph), I figured I'd just put it out here for anyone who visits my blog. Mel has also agreed to put it on the LCFA for a few days. If you know that some of JJ's friends visit your blog regularly, please feel free to include a link as well (either to this post or to the baby gift site directly).

So, if you are interested (and haven't done so already -- thank you to all of you who have contributed thus far!), please head on over and join in the group gift/hug we are sending to JJ and Mook.

Then go hug your favorite blogger. :-)

A short post full of very little

Don't forget -- vote for Mel. She's kicking ass in 1st place right now, but voting hasn't ended yet. Go vote!!

I have plenty to blog about, but no freakin' time. The biggest news of all is we finally have Liam's sleeping on track. Amen! I'm hoping to now regain some semblance of my former mental acuity previously robbed by the Sleep Deprivation Demon.

But I will leave you with a picture of my beautiful baby boy. He's got 4 teeth now, blows kisses, and has finally decided to SLEEP. I didn't think I could love him any more than I already do...

VOTE FOR MEL!!!

Go here. Vote now. Vote every day! (Pretty please.)