Nothing too scary at today's follie check. They are bigger than I would like, but no less than 3 medical professionals assured me that my eggs won't a) be over-ripe like a month-old peach, or b) be ovulated on my way to the retrieval. So we'll see.
Right - 24.4
Right - 24.3
Right - 22.2
Right - 21.5
Right - 17.5
Left - 19.7
Left - 17.8
Left - 14.3
Left - 11.1
Left - 2 under 10
Endo - 10.3
I asked about my estrogen since it seemed a little wussy yesterday (at 888). Today it was at 1,296 so that seems like a decent jump. Dr. Google informed me that each mature egg should be giving off about 200 so hopefully that means I'll have 6 or 7 good ones on Sunday.
Don't know what time my retrieval is for Sunday, they won't call until this evening. Thanks to everyone for your support, I can't explain how much it helps!
Friday, August 31, 2007
Thursday, August 30, 2007
I heart DHEA - updated
At least I'm a fan so far. We'll see what happens when the fat lady sings. In the meantime, here's the handiwork I'm giving DHEA credit for...
Right - 21.9
Right - 20.1
Right - 19.6
Right - 18.9
Right - 13.9
Left - 18.1
Left - 17.1
Left - 15.2
Left - 13.2
Left - 2 under 10
Endo - 10.8
Um, yeah. So I've got 11 follicles. I'm stunned. Granted, some of them are waaaaay too small but who cares? For once in this whole entire process, I actually feel mildly proud of my dusty old ovaries. Go girls!! I swear to you that I'm a little misty about the fact that I'm feeling warm and fuzzy about any portion of my reproductive tract, it's been so long and I've been so pissed of at it (in it's entirety) for so many years, that I feel bad now. Geez, I really am turning into a total nutjob, aren't I?
I have DHEA to give away. The last time I bought it (a couple of weeks ago), it was on a buy one get one free special. So I picked up the 2nd bottle in the hopes of giving it to one of you -- if it worked. I don't know what it's going to do for my egg quality issue, but I'm confident now that it's clearly helped the quanity problem somewhat. Let me know if you want it, and I'll send it right to you. I actually have a whole bottle and a nearly full bottle, so if two people speak up, I can send you each one.
I am going to bask in this happy little glow here for a while because surely something will go wrong to make the whole house of cards come crashing down. Therefore, I will take my own advice (fashioned after Mel's fabulous advice about celebrating whenever you can, even if it's only short-lived) and be pleased with today's information.
For all I know, there will be something insane going on with my bloodwork and when they call me this afternoon, they'll cancel me. Ooops, wait. That's not being very positive and pleased, is it?
We're not sure if I'll trigger tonight or tomorrow night. Normally, I think they would have me trigger tonight but since there's that note in the computer from Dr. Chat about pushing my follies to the biggest possible size, I suspect that it will be tomorrow. This works out great from a scheduling perspective (no need to drag you through the details), but also means I'll need another date with the dildocam in the morning.
I don't mind the visit itself, I just don't want to get any news that will burst the little bubble of happiness I have going on right now. Maybe I just won't look at the screen and obsess about the details and say I don't want to know.
Hahahahahaaaaa.
I just had to breathe into a paper bag because I was laughing so hard I got a little lightheaded. Like I ever, in a hundred million years, would be able to NOT pay painfully detailed attention to every miniscule detail of the follie check. That's just funny.
Anyway, all is looking good from here. Keep your fingers crossed that everything continues nicely. Please also keep your fingers crossed for my cyclesistas:
Erin (The Vicious Cycle of Cycles) - a true cyclesista, it is looking more and more like we will trigger, retrieve and transfer on the exact same days. Wahoo!
Christina (The Oneliner) - she's on CystWatch '07 at the moment, and in Lupron hell, so go lend some support and humor
Imogen (mailto:thM@sk) - she's nearing the end of her 2WW, hoping that Bootie is going to stick around for the long haul
Alexa (Floatsam) - her transfer was on Tuesday, so keep everything you can cross crossed for a happy outcome
Becks (One Miracle Needed) - she's also nearing the end of her 2WW and is in that funk that traps us all when we fear all of our hard work might not have paid off, so go show her some love
My Reality (Disenchanted With The Reality That Is My Life) - she's now on hold because of some non-IF related medical issues and awaiting a conclusive diagnosis
Kami (Are We There Yet?) - she's getting ready to start her DE cycle, so grab your pom poms and let's cheer her on!
Lastly, let me know if you want some DHEA.
--------------------------
update:
Looks like they can't get enough of gazing at my ladybits, since they want to root around there in the morning again. This means I'll trigger tomorrow night. Here's hoping I don't get any soul-crushing news at the scan tomorrow, that would really suck.
Right - 21.9
Right - 20.1
Right - 19.6
Right - 18.9
Right - 13.9
Left - 18.1
Left - 17.1
Left - 15.2
Left - 13.2
Left - 2 under 10
Endo - 10.8
Um, yeah. So I've got 11 follicles. I'm stunned. Granted, some of them are waaaaay too small but who cares? For once in this whole entire process, I actually feel mildly proud of my dusty old ovaries. Go girls!! I swear to you that I'm a little misty about the fact that I'm feeling warm and fuzzy about any portion of my reproductive tract, it's been so long and I've been so pissed of at it (in it's entirety) for so many years, that I feel bad now. Geez, I really am turning into a total nutjob, aren't I?
I have DHEA to give away. The last time I bought it (a couple of weeks ago), it was on a buy one get one free special. So I picked up the 2nd bottle in the hopes of giving it to one of you -- if it worked. I don't know what it's going to do for my egg quality issue, but I'm confident now that it's clearly helped the quanity problem somewhat. Let me know if you want it, and I'll send it right to you. I actually have a whole bottle and a nearly full bottle, so if two people speak up, I can send you each one.
I am going to bask in this happy little glow here for a while because surely something will go wrong to make the whole house of cards come crashing down. Therefore, I will take my own advice (fashioned after Mel's fabulous advice about celebrating whenever you can, even if it's only short-lived) and be pleased with today's information.
For all I know, there will be something insane going on with my bloodwork and when they call me this afternoon, they'll cancel me. Ooops, wait. That's not being very positive and pleased, is it?
We're not sure if I'll trigger tonight or tomorrow night. Normally, I think they would have me trigger tonight but since there's that note in the computer from Dr. Chat about pushing my follies to the biggest possible size, I suspect that it will be tomorrow. This works out great from a scheduling perspective (no need to drag you through the details), but also means I'll need another date with the dildocam in the morning.
I don't mind the visit itself, I just don't want to get any news that will burst the little bubble of happiness I have going on right now. Maybe I just won't look at the screen and obsess about the details and say I don't want to know.
Hahahahahaaaaa.
I just had to breathe into a paper bag because I was laughing so hard I got a little lightheaded. Like I ever, in a hundred million years, would be able to NOT pay painfully detailed attention to every miniscule detail of the follie check. That's just funny.
Anyway, all is looking good from here. Keep your fingers crossed that everything continues nicely. Please also keep your fingers crossed for my cyclesistas:
Erin (The Vicious Cycle of Cycles) - a true cyclesista, it is looking more and more like we will trigger, retrieve and transfer on the exact same days. Wahoo!
Christina (The Oneliner) - she's on CystWatch '07 at the moment, and in Lupron hell, so go lend some support and humor
Imogen (mailto:thM@sk) - she's nearing the end of her 2WW, hoping that Bootie is going to stick around for the long haul
Alexa (Floatsam) - her transfer was on Tuesday, so keep everything you can cross crossed for a happy outcome
Becks (One Miracle Needed) - she's also nearing the end of her 2WW and is in that funk that traps us all when we fear all of our hard work might not have paid off, so go show her some love
My Reality (Disenchanted With The Reality That Is My Life) - she's now on hold because of some non-IF related medical issues and awaiting a conclusive diagnosis
Kami (Are We There Yet?) - she's getting ready to start her DE cycle, so grab your pom poms and let's cheer her on!
Lastly, let me know if you want some DHEA.
--------------------------
update:
Looks like they can't get enough of gazing at my ladybits, since they want to root around there in the morning again. This means I'll trigger tomorrow night. Here's hoping I don't get any soul-crushing news at the scan tomorrow, that would really suck.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Poser and Pity - updated
I got a reprieve from the dildocam yesterday. (This was especially nice since my boss was there giving blood for another beta and I didn't want to run into her.) Apparently they agreed with me that The Overachieving Follie (aka Mr. 17) was being a poser, and probably wasn't really that big.
They must have been right because here are my numbers from this morning:
Right - 1 under 10
Right - 16.8
Right - 16.4
Right - 15.8
Right - 15.4
Left - 1 under 10
Left - 13.1
Left - 12.6
Left - 10.2
Endo - 9.7
I doubt that any of the players from the left ovary are going to make it to the big game, but who knows. I swear that I truly will be happy with whatever we get, as long as we end up with 1 or 2 (or 3) to transfer on day 3.
Now I really am due for daily monitoring, but we all think it will only be for a few days. If I were a betting person, I think I'll trigger on Thursday or, more likely, Friday night. However, with my wonky ovaries, you never know what each morning's ultrasound might reveal. The Poser could skyrocket to 22 overnight and send us all into a tailspin. (That's sure to happen now that I've bitten the bullet and ordered more meds.)
The worst part about tomorrow's monitoring? My boss is going to be there giving more blood. She's doing a 4th beta because they want to see it above 1,000 before they'll schedule an ultrasound. Her 1st one was 71 (15dpo), her 2nd one was 142 (17dpo), and her 3rd one was 712 (21dpo). I haven't told her that I'm doing another IVF and don't feel like sharing now. I already feel enough like she's pitying me. I HATE THAT. So now I will sit in the parking lot and stalk her car to make sure it's gone before I go in. Sad, but true... Man, I hate being pitied.
I have half a dozen other posts rattling around in my brain, I need to make the time to type them out. As Sunny said in this post, I too blog all day long in my head. You all should be lucky that I have limited time to spend blogging or I'd probably post 4 times a day. :-)
Update:
No sooner did I hit "publish" and my nurse called me. Estrogen looks fine and -- get this -- they don't want to see me back until Thursday. Wahoo! I get the sneaking suspicion that I'm not being monitored as often because I'm now self-pay. I seriously think that when my insurance was footing the bill, they wanted me in there ALL THE TIME so that they could squeeze $ out of my insurance. Now that they've already got my $10K, there's no need to waste their time and money doing the useless monitoring. Interesting.....
They must have been right because here are my numbers from this morning:
Right - 1 under 10
Right - 16.8
Right - 16.4
Right - 15.8
Right - 15.4
Left - 1 under 10
Left - 13.1
Left - 12.6
Left - 10.2
Endo - 9.7
I doubt that any of the players from the left ovary are going to make it to the big game, but who knows. I swear that I truly will be happy with whatever we get, as long as we end up with 1 or 2 (or 3) to transfer on day 3.
Now I really am due for daily monitoring, but we all think it will only be for a few days. If I were a betting person, I think I'll trigger on Thursday or, more likely, Friday night. However, with my wonky ovaries, you never know what each morning's ultrasound might reveal. The Poser could skyrocket to 22 overnight and send us all into a tailspin. (That's sure to happen now that I've bitten the bullet and ordered more meds.)
The worst part about tomorrow's monitoring? My boss is going to be there giving more blood. She's doing a 4th beta because they want to see it above 1,000 before they'll schedule an ultrasound. Her 1st one was 71 (15dpo), her 2nd one was 142 (17dpo), and her 3rd one was 712 (21dpo). I haven't told her that I'm doing another IVF and don't feel like sharing now. I already feel enough like she's pitying me. I HATE THAT. So now I will sit in the parking lot and stalk her car to make sure it's gone before I go in. Sad, but true... Man, I hate being pitied.
I have half a dozen other posts rattling around in my brain, I need to make the time to type them out. As Sunny said in this post, I too blog all day long in my head. You all should be lucky that I have limited time to spend blogging or I'd probably post 4 times a day. :-)
Update:
No sooner did I hit "publish" and my nurse called me. Estrogen looks fine and -- get this -- they don't want to see me back until Thursday. Wahoo! I get the sneaking suspicion that I'm not being monitored as often because I'm now self-pay. I seriously think that when my insurance was footing the bill, they wanted me in there ALL THE TIME so that they could squeeze $ out of my insurance. Now that they've already got my $10K, there's no need to waste their time and money doing the useless monitoring. Interesting.....
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Update. With too much detail, I'm sure.
Things looked really good at my u/s on Friday. I had been bummed because my antral follicle count was only 6 earlier in the week. But at Friday's appointment, I had 9 follies. Wahoo! They were still pretty small, but bigger than usual. Normally, on the first day of monitoring (after 3 days of stims), we can see them, but they are all under 10.
On Friday, here were my numbers:
Right - 2 under 10
Right - 10.4
Right - 10.8
Right - 11.2
Left - 4 under 10
Endo - 5.5
I was pretty pleased with that. I even had warm, happy thoughts about DHEA. Things were still looking good for retrieval and transfer around Labor Day (early next week).
Then I went in for monitoring this morning (Sunday). Here are my numbers today:
Right - 1 under 10
Right - 10.2
Right - 12.9
Right - 15.4
Right - 17.0
Left - 11.2
Left - 3 under 10
Endo - 8.1
Um, excuse me? One of them is at SEVENTEEN? Are you shitting me? Dang. So now the daily monitoring starts. Hopefully it was a weird angle on the u/s today and that one really isn't at 17. Granted, my clinic will let it get as big as 23 before trigger so that would give the other players time to get suited up and on the field. But I sure would have been happier with half a dozen hovering around 13mm or so.
Oh well, it will be what it will be. My first IVF (well, the first one that actually made it to retrieval) produced a whopping 4 follicles. So it's absurd that I'm complaining about this. Also, in my past 2 retrievals, I've miraculously gotten mature eggs out of every one of my follicles -- including ones that were 14 or 15mm at trigger. There's no guarantee that will happen again, but at least it helps me remain somewhat optimistic.
To recap, this is what we got on our previous rides on the rollercoaster:
1st IVF - 4 follicles, 4 mature eggs, 3 fertilized, 3 made it to transfer
2nd IVF - 6 follicles, 6 mature eggs, 4 fertilized, 4 made it to transfer (we put back 3)
Since the fertilization rate for my crappy old eggs is decent, I won't panic yet. Also, if something insane happens and that 17 turns into a 23 overnight or other madness, I know my RE will let me go to retrieval with next to no eggs (bypassing the clinic's requirement for 4 follicles above 18mm).
It's cliche, and akin to that maddening phrase "just relax", but the truth is that it just takes one. One good egg. Please, oh please, oh please let me get just one that sticks and hangs around for the long haul and joins our family!
On Friday, here were my numbers:
Right - 2 under 10
Right - 10.4
Right - 10.8
Right - 11.2
Left - 4 under 10
Endo - 5.5
I was pretty pleased with that. I even had warm, happy thoughts about DHEA. Things were still looking good for retrieval and transfer around Labor Day (early next week).
Then I went in for monitoring this morning (Sunday). Here are my numbers today:
Right - 1 under 10
Right - 10.2
Right - 12.9
Right - 15.4
Right - 17.0
Left - 11.2
Left - 3 under 10
Endo - 8.1
Um, excuse me? One of them is at SEVENTEEN? Are you shitting me? Dang. So now the daily monitoring starts. Hopefully it was a weird angle on the u/s today and that one really isn't at 17. Granted, my clinic will let it get as big as 23 before trigger so that would give the other players time to get suited up and on the field. But I sure would have been happier with half a dozen hovering around 13mm or so.
Oh well, it will be what it will be. My first IVF (well, the first one that actually made it to retrieval) produced a whopping 4 follicles. So it's absurd that I'm complaining about this. Also, in my past 2 retrievals, I've miraculously gotten mature eggs out of every one of my follicles -- including ones that were 14 or 15mm at trigger. There's no guarantee that will happen again, but at least it helps me remain somewhat optimistic.
To recap, this is what we got on our previous rides on the rollercoaster:
1st IVF - 4 follicles, 4 mature eggs, 3 fertilized, 3 made it to transfer
2nd IVF - 6 follicles, 6 mature eggs, 4 fertilized, 4 made it to transfer (we put back 3)
Since the fertilization rate for my crappy old eggs is decent, I won't panic yet. Also, if something insane happens and that 17 turns into a 23 overnight or other madness, I know my RE will let me go to retrieval with next to no eggs (bypassing the clinic's requirement for 4 follicles above 18mm).
It's cliche, and akin to that maddening phrase "just relax", but the truth is that it just takes one. One good egg. Please, oh please, oh please let me get just one that sticks and hangs around for the long haul and joins our family!
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Rah! Rah! Rah!
My cyclesista Erin wrote a kick ass cheer for me. It's too good to leave buried in the comments, so I'm posting it here...
GO LEAH'S
OVA-RIES
WOULD YOU PLEASE
MAKE SOME FOL-LIES!
"This fantabulous cheer only works if your name is pronounced Lee, not Lee-ya, of course. In case I'm wrong, I hope for Cheer's sake you'll allow me some artistic license."
Tell me that you didn't laugh right out loud at this. I know I sure did. Repeatedly. Thank you, Erin!! Now please go over and offer her some good luck vibes -- since we are currently cycling about 1 day apart, we are sitting next to each other in the rollercoaster car.
GO LEAH'S
OVA-RIES
WOULD YOU PLEASE
MAKE SOME FOL-LIES!
"This fantabulous cheer only works if your name is pronounced Lee, not Lee-ya, of course. In case I'm wrong, I hope for Cheer's sake you'll allow me some artistic license."
Tell me that you didn't laugh right out loud at this. I know I sure did. Repeatedly. Thank you, Erin!! Now please go over and offer her some good luck vibes -- since we are currently cycling about 1 day apart, we are sitting next to each other in the rollercoaster car.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Rock On!
Wahoo! JJ has nominated me as a Rockin' Blogger. Sweeeeet. I'm such a huge fan of JJ's that it's an honor just to be on her list. :-)
We all know how this goes, I now choose 5 of you lovely ladies who have not been nominated yet. Lemme see...
1. Can any all-star list be complete without Mel (Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters)? As I've mentioned before, she's the center of the IF universe to me. With her newest brainchild, Lost and Found, she is performing yet another invaluable service to the IF blogsphere. AND she's a kick ass Mom to her kids, AND she works, AND she's just a good friend. Somehow she always finds time to be there to support you when you need her, and she makes you feel like you are the only one.
2a. Kami (Are We There Yet?) is truly amazing to me. In addition the fact that we suspect we are somehow related since we seem so similar, I admire her for her strength. Her willingness to let us into her thoughts and feelings during this entire donor egg process has been nothing short of Courageous (with a capital C).
2b. Can I also sneak in TeamWinks (Are We There Yet?) since these two have the same blog name? I know it's cheating, but I really had a hard time just picking 5. The grace and love she has demonstrated during her adoption of Lucky has been an inspiration. She was already a superstar for the way she was handling IF, but when Lucky got thrown into the mix, we all got to see yet another beautiful side to this amazing woman.
3. Ashley/Gabby (Vacant Womb) is a relatively new blogger, but has already shown herself to be sweet, sassy and downright wonderful. I love the way she pours her heart into many of her posts, it makes me wish I could drive to Florida and give her a big hug.
4. Waiting Amy (Waiting for .... ?) is also a somewhat new blogger, but is also one of my favorites. When you read her blog, it's almost like you're having a conversation with her. I really enjoy the way she writes, and find it very easy to connect to her story. She's traveled a long road and endured much heartache already, but she is right there to support someone whenever it's needed.
5. Rho (Nobaby Lane) is a Rockin' Chick. She's been slacking on her blog, but I suspect it's because she doesn't yet have a large group of readers. She is intelligent, thoughtful, and knee-slappingly hilarious. She too has faced many challenges in this IF journey and could use our support. So hopefully by nominating her, she'll post more often with that crazy sass and humor I've known and loved so much these past 5+ years!
Now shoo -- all of you go find 5 people to nominate.
The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
Good: First day of injections went well.
Bad: I have a pounding headache, but it's not related to the stims. I think it's a sinus headache.
Good: A friend of mine is doing her 2nd IVF and got 8 eggs at her retrieval today.
Bad: Her 1st IVF resulted in a long, drawn-out miscarriage. I hope that doesn't happen to them again.
Good: I have an acupuncture appointment tonight. I'm really looking forward to it!
Ugly: I am a horrible person because I just found out my boss is pregnant and I'm having a hard time being genuinely happy for her. She's 40, has a high FSH, and seriously resisted any and all forms of ART. She finally agreed to do this IUI and BAM, she's pregnant on the first try. I guess I feel like a failure -- I've done 4 IUIs and 2 IVFs, with no pregnancy to show for it -- so it's more about my feelings of inadequacy. I just endured 2 co-workers' pregnancies and pretended to be happy. Why do I have to live through another while I sit on the side lines merely watching?
That's a rhetorical question, no need to answer.
Ugh.
Bad: I have a pounding headache, but it's not related to the stims. I think it's a sinus headache.
Good: A friend of mine is doing her 2nd IVF and got 8 eggs at her retrieval today.
Bad: Her 1st IVF resulted in a long, drawn-out miscarriage. I hope that doesn't happen to them again.
Good: I have an acupuncture appointment tonight. I'm really looking forward to it!
Ugly: I am a horrible person because I just found out my boss is pregnant and I'm having a hard time being genuinely happy for her. She's 40, has a high FSH, and seriously resisted any and all forms of ART. She finally agreed to do this IUI and BAM, she's pregnant on the first try. I guess I feel like a failure -- I've done 4 IUIs and 2 IVFs, with no pregnancy to show for it -- so it's more about my feelings of inadequacy. I just endured 2 co-workers' pregnancies and pretended to be happy. Why do I have to live through another while I sit on the side lines merely watching?
That's a rhetorical question, no need to answer.
Ugh.
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