Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Spidey's Pictorial Debut and more mad ramblings

First and foremost, thank you to everyone for the kind comments on my last post. I knew it was all a little loopy, and once I got it out of my head and into a post, I felt much better. But then I felt 6,000 times better after reading all of your comments. Thank you for all of the comfort and stroking!

Now for Spidey's photo shoot... Kevin and I bought a scanner for Christmas. It's been hooked up for a couple of weeks, but we finally sat down and made the time to scan in the pictures from our level 2 sonogram.

These are a little over 3 weeks old, they are from Christmas Eve. But they are still some nice pictures so I figured better late than never, right?

Here is a shot of him just relaxing (albiet looking a bit squished). To me, he looks sort of like he just said, "Hey, right on!":



Here is another similar shot, although this is the one that caused Megan to name him "Grinch":


Here is the obligitory shot of the hand:


And last, but not least, one of my favorites. Assuming you're good at reading these type of pictures, you'll be able to make out his legs and feet stretched all the way out (thighs on the left, feet on the right).


Not much else to report. I've been gripped with fear the last few days, but it's unwarranted. This story is sure to bring out the fangs and claws in the best of us... I wore a maternity shirt to work on Monday which prompted a few people to ask, "Um, are you pregnant?" I managed to smile confidently and say, "Yes." (Without all the dramatic explanation of the road paved with shards of glass and our hearts it took to get there. I was proud of myself.)

Anyway, a total moron woman that I work with asked if I was. I said yes. She asked how far along I was, and I answered a little over 21 weeks. She then spent the next 5 minutes -- until I asked her to stop and walked away -- regaling me with the stories of her two miscarriages AT TWENTY TWO WEEKS. I finally said, "Um, Theresa? No offense, but I'm not sure I should be hearing this right now." Seriously? Seriously?

I drove home that day thinking that this was just silly. I mean, what are the chances that my baby would just up and die at 22 weeks. Then I read this post. I was paralyzed. Mostly with grief for Alexa, I can't comprehend how to deal with something like this. But then I became truly terrified for Spidey.

What happened next? You guessed it. Spidey went dormant. Sometime yesterday, he took a big ol' chill pill and stopped rearranging the furniture in there incessantly. I can now go for hours at a stretch without feeling him. I woke up several times in the night last night and didn't feel him once. This morning, nothing. I laid on my stomach, I poked him, I drank apple juice, everything. It took over an hour of this insanity until I felt a flutter. Although that should have been reassuring, it still wasn't enough. Ugh. It was so bad that I dropped Megan off at school 20 minutes late because I was busy tormenting her brother. That's just not right.

All day he has been quiet, but there. It's almost like I've regressed 3 weeks. Even Kevin mentioned that my belly button looked a little more sunken in, and my stomach was much softer than it has been recently. However, I just have to believe that my entire uterus shifted position somewhere along the way (there's still room for it to move around quite a bit at this point), and that's what's caused the big change. Of course as I sit here typing this, he's attending an aerobics class in there or something, he's all over the place.

It's sad that I am actually considerably more physically comfortable than I've been in weeks, and it's a source of stress. I was explaining this to my best friend Kelly, who totally gets it, and she summed it up well. She said, "So you don't feel beaten up, bloated, stretched and miserable? Sorry that you can't enjoy it." It just makes me realize that I haven't traded my IF insanity for pregnancy insanity. I've merely added more crazed behavior on top of the pile I already own.

In other news, the DC Metro Stirrup Queens are getting together in Bethesda for dinner on January 26th. If you live in DC, MD, VA or PA and want to join us, let me know! Or, if you're simply passing through town, please join us. We've now welcomed 4 different bloggers who were visiting DC and it's been just wonderful.

24 comments:

Delenn said...

I had similar issue last night (after reading same post). I was up most of the night worrying about her not moving. Finally, tonight--she is doing a mamba in there...

Love the pictures!!!

And no matter what---Happy 21 Weeks!

Samantha said...

Okay, work colleague was a little inappropriate there! I don't know why people think they should share their horror stories, like it's going to somehow make you feel better? Probably they just don't think.

I'm glad to see you posting again and thanks for sharing the pictures!

Fertilize Me said...

spidey is fantastic!

Nearlydawn said...

SO CUTE!!!

As for what I call the "dead baby stories" I will tell you, you did exactly the right thing! I had people (mostly at work) do that to me when I was first PG. I litterally held up my hand and said, "Stop it, you are scaring the pregnant lady." It seemed to get them to understand pretty quickly that it was inappropriate.

I had one person continue with the story anyway - so I turned and walked off. She appologized later, saying she didn't realize I would take it seriously. I explained that 3 yrs of IF made me take shit serious, because it absolutely has been me that is on the bad end of the statistics.

Lara said...

Wow those u/s pics are AMAZING!!!! Thanks for sharing!!!! 21 weeks already? How can that be? Please don't stay away so long (I'm just catching up on your blog) I miss you when you don't blog!

Caro said...

Cute pictures!

Oh and the stories, well done on walking away.

Mr. & Mrs. M@sk said...

Spidey/Grinch is adorable!

TeamWinks said...

Have fun at the gathering! I'm jealous!

Rho said...

Great pics! I will call you about the 26th, I would love to go.

Kathy V said...

Well done on dealing with your coworker. Very insensitive and rude on her part. I am glad that Spidey is moving around again. That is wonderful news. The pictures are really good too. Keep on posting. We want to here about what is going on with Spidey.

Waiting Amy said...

It was hard to read that post. I feel terrible for her. And its hard not to start to transfer feelings onto yourself.

Good job with the horror stories!

Most importantly, Spidey is super handsome! So glad things are going well for you! Write more when you can!

Meghan said...

Amazing pictures of Spidey! Crazy how detailed they are

I would have slapped that co-worker, how madly inappropriate.

Kate said...

Great pictures! I hope Spidey starts moving like crazy!

SaraS-P said...

Great pics!

He actually does look a little Grinchlike in that one pic!

Somewhat Ordinary said...

Those are great pics!

It is so hard when you hear stories or read accounts of horrible things that happened to others. Pregnancy does cause insanity.

In and Out of Luck said...

OK, so I feel much sympathy for your co-worker - but could she shut up because I hate that she's scaring you. When you describe your fear I can feel it myself. Those U/S pictures are great - I guess that 3D technology was invented since my first child because eek! so real! But fabulous, congrats.

Portia P said...

uHe's amazing! Those photos are so clear - i'm gobsmacked!

Sorry about your co-worker - people can be SO stupid!

Hope he keeps on grooving in there xx

sltbee69 said...

Love the u/s pics! He's beautiful Leah. As far as ignorant people feeling that they just have to tell you "dead baby" stories, it totally amazes me that they actually think it's appropriate to do that. Makes you wanna slap some sense into them. I'm sorry that your co-worker and that post added to your anxiety but glad that Spidey is back to groovin in there to reassure you. (((HUGS)))

Gabby said...

YaY! Pictures, finally! That is the CUTEST Spidey! Glad you updated us.

butterflyanla said...

Great pictures, What great Christmas Pictures. Sorry you co worker was so weird. I am sure Spidey is fine. He si such a little miracle and likes to play jokes. From the fiasco with the early ultra sound to not moving to freak you out. Everything will be o.k. Wishing you guys all the best.

MoonNStarMommy said...

When you have to fight for a baby, or you've had miscarriages, it is next to impossible to let that fear go... a lot of people don't understand it... it's COMFORTING to be feeling beat up and miserable because that's the way you are suppose to feel... but when baby stops moving like normal, or whatever is out of the ordinary - the glimmer of panic sets in and it's pretty impossible to shake it. {{HUGS}} The ultrasound pictures are utterly adorable!!

Cibele said...

Love the u/s pics!
My girl has some days that she does not move much and I freak out! I almost went to L&D the other night, than I got ready and when I was about to leave the house she woke up!!!!

Delenn said...

Haven't heard from you in a while--tagged ya!

The Town Criers said...

He's gorgeous.

It's hard to talk yourself out of the fears. I think the only way is through them. And then out the other side. Giving them the finger or mooning them as you pass.