Friday, May 23, 2008

We're home (subtitle: Crash and Burn)

Thank you to everyone for the well wishes! I am very happy to report that the c-section was uneventful with no surprises. My recovery seems to be going well, so that's good news too.

In the hospital, little Liam was an angel. He proved to be a champion breastfeeder, although his suck is almost as powerful as a jet engine. Ouch! But that's okay, Megan was so horrible at it that I would take the opposite problem any day of the week. The first night, he was as good as gold and we actually got lots of sleep. The 2nd and 3rd nights, he cluster fed overnight which wasn't much fun, but it helped my milk come in quickly. He barely lost any weight, much to everyone's amazement. I didn't have one single freak out hormonal meltdown. In fact, I don't think I cried at all. Megan came to the hospital for a visit every day and was an angel for her Grandparents. All in all, things were going great.

Then we came home. We've been home about 24 hours now. I'm not sure who has cried the most in this first day -- Liam, Megan or me. Megan was out of control, spinning between being wildly overhelpful and lying on the floor screaming, kicking and crying. She didn't nap yesterday (too excited) and didn't get to bed early (despite the fact it could have happened, but that's another topic for another day). She's pissed that we won't let her carry Liam around by herself, that we won't let her change his diaper by herself, and that she can't hold him on her lap non-stop. I knew this would happen, so I was prepared, but I didn't realize how badly she was going to freak out. That's what started my crying jag and it's continued now for the better part of 18 hours. Good times.

Liam decided he didn't like breastfeeding that much after all. He latches on, sucks a while, and pulls off screaming. I have been pumping with the hand pump a bit before he latches on (new since coming home and his boycott) to make sure there's milk there and something nice and long for him to latch on to. But he's lazy. His suck is much, much weaker. One theory is that I've got so much freakin' milk in there that my boobs are too hard and he can't get as good a latch. So today I will pump and do something the LC recommended called reverse softening (or something like that). He was up from 3:00 - 6:30am last night screaming, eating, burping, screaming, burping, screaming, eating, etc. It was exhausting, mostly in an emotional sense. He'll only get a few days of these shenanigans and then I'll go to pumping and bottle feeding. I went through hell and back to get Megan to breastfeed and I don't have it in me to do it again.

At this very moment, Megan is at school and Liam is sleeping on his Grandma's shoulder. I've showered, dressed, had breakfast and time to update my blog. So I really shouldn't be complaining. I think it's just that it seemed like things were going to be so much easier this time around and we took such a sharp nosedive. But this too shall pass.

Thank you again to everyone who commented. It made me feel so good to see how many people were checking in! I'll catch up on my reading over the next few days, so forgive me for not commenting. Also, I'll post some pictures of the little dude later today.


deanna said...

Welcome home, hon!!! I'm glad everything at the hospital went off without a hitch. =)

Here's hoping things settle down at home soon! Hang in there!

The Town Criers said...

Even when you know "this too shall pass" it doesn't make a difference when all you need is three minutes of calm and all you have on hand is chaos.

I'm sending lots of good thoughts.

Waiting Amy said...

Oh honey, I'm sorry things went sour. I had similar problems with my guy. My milk came in fast and furious and my boobs were like rocks. I had to pump a little before hand in order for him to successfully latch. Then he too was a gassy, colicy guy, which I've learned might be from excessive fore-milk which is more sugary and can make them gassy.

Check out this site for some info on overactive letdown, and other good references:

I hope it goes better, and you are right that you need to take good care of yourself most importantly. *HUGS*

Waiting Amy said...

Ugh. The link got eaten up. If you want to check it, go to the Pump Station website, and the breastfeeding library and in there is a section on overactive letdown.

Kate said...

The first few weeks are so hard. I hope everything evens out soon. Thinking of you!!

Fertilized said...

Welcome home. I am hoping that this passes much sooner than later! He is a big ball of cuteness!!

Lea Bee said...

thanks for the pictures and the update. do you think megan would like a doll to mother and then you can both take care of your 'babies' together?

and i also feel that sanity is an EXTREMELY valuable comodity; don't force yourself to do something that doesn't work for your baby or your family.

thinking of you and lotsa love.