Pregnancy-Induced Stupidity

This post is terribly boring. It also has very little to do with IF. So if you don't want to read about my OB appointment and a ridiculous epiphany I had regarding the actual delivery of a baby, then you should skip this post. You know that I won't mind one bit.

I had another OB appointment today. Nothing exciting, I just peed in a cup, got weighed, and had my blood pressure taken. I complained relentlessly about my heartburn (I'm now approaching 300mg of Zan.tac a day) and my newly-acquired inability to sleep (thanks to uncomfortable back, legs, etc. -- not due to run-of-the-mill insomnia). The Doc measured my fundal height with the nifty paper tape measure and listened to Spidey's heartbeat. All in all, pretty uneventful.

As I was checking out, I noticed some writing on my paper. It said 25 +4 + 14. I asked what the heck that was. He explained that the 25 was because I'm 25 weeks along. The +4 is because I put on 4 lbs since my last appointment. The +14 is because I've put on 14 lbs total. I cringed and started beating myself about the head and shoulders when he said this. I worked so hard to keep my weight gain low because I had started out about 15 lbs too heavy to begin with! But last week I lost my mind and ate about 673,984 donut holes in one day. Plus I've been hitting the ice cream pretty hard at night. With the nausea and vomiting mostly under control, I've been able to eat more. And, obviously, I have been.

Anyway, when I started pissing and moaning about my weight gain, the Doc said, "Are you kidding? I see people all the time who put on 14 lbs in the first trimester! I'm very happy with your weight gain." So I explained that I take my imaginary pencil and tack on another 15 lbs to whatever they tally up since I started out chunky. He looked me right in the eye and said, "I don't measure that way, and you aren't allowed to either." Nice! (But I still will.) He offered that he thought I was on track for a weight gain somewhere in the mid 20s or 30 lbs at the most. That's better than with Megan when I gained 38 lbs -- but it was also August and I swelled up like a sausage thanks to the heat and pre.eclampsia.

I gathered my things up and went to check out. When the nurse asked if I had my next appointment scheduled, I said no. I knew I had to do it, though, because I've got to drink the Glu.cola stuff for my gestational diabetes test. With Megan, I completely flunked the 1 hour test, and was borderline on the 3 hour test. So I probably shouldn't mess around with it. I made my appt for March 6th -- 2 days after we return from a week in Florida so I hope that I can make a last-ditch effort on vacation to eat reasonably. :-)

Then she said, "Do you want to make your appointment for 2 weeks after that?" I just couldn't believe I'm already approaching the switch to appts every 2 weeks instead of every 4 weeks. In so many ways, this pregnancy is dragging on forever, but in others it's just flying by!

I made a couple more appointments and then asked her to print out the listing of them so I could put them in my calendar. Here's what the paper said:

3/6/08 Dr. MR
3/20/08 Dr. FG
4/4/08 Dr. FG
5/19/08 Dr. MR
5/19/08 Dr. FG

I said, "Wait a minute, this is messed up. One of these appointments has me seeing 2 Doctors at once. This must be wrong." Then she said, "No, that's your surgery appointment." Like a complete moron, I said, "Surgery? What are you talking about?" After looking at me like, well, a complete moron, she said, "Um, aren't you having a c-section?"

I almost fell over the chair behind me. I already knew that May 19th was the date we were going to schedule the c-section (39w1d), but for some reason, my brain didn't even come close to processing it when I saw it on the paper. I simply couldn't believe it was already there -- and in a way it feels so close.

On one hand, I am completely ready. But on the other hand, I am just not ready. As I started to try to explain this concept, my post got insanely long and booooring. So I've broken it up and will save that rambling for a different post later in the week.

In the meantime, I'm working to be happy that things seem to be going along drama-free and that we are (amazingly) getting one step closer each day to our dream of a real, live baby in the house.