Sunday, July 5, 2009

Gee, sorry about that, Lorelei

Okay, another change to the posting schedule. I don't have my shit together to finish the Simple Pleasures post that was supposed to be for today. Therefore, a cop-out. The "Leah understands" meme:

Leah understands the frustration of women who would rather scrub floors than shop for clothes.
What? No, no, I really don't. I'm not all that wild about shopping but I would DEFINITELY prefer it to scrubbing floors. Um, hello?

Leah understands God-given talents are different for everyone .
Yes, and I'm still waiting to see just what mine are!

Leah understands the needs of the working class and works hard to find people the right house at the right price.
No, I don't. Unless they want to buy my house, I don't give a rat's ass what they need.

Leah understands the desires of potential buyers and can help transform a home into an attractive space for potential buyers.
What's with all the real estate agents named Leah?

Leah understands the value of quality customer service .
Yes, I do. Especially when *I* am the customer.

Leah understands the need for education, instruction, entertainment and options.
Especially the part about entertainment.

Leah understands suddenly that the knife is a thing deep inside Lorelei.

Leah understands the Los Angeles market, as well as the intricacies involved with relocating and buying a home.
I've never been to LA, and never plan to. But clearly my name suggests that I should have gone into real estate, eh?

Leah understands that immunity only applies to the competition and not elsewhere.
Screw the competition, I want immunity. Wait, I want SERENITY. NOW!

Leah understands that this loan is for the weekend only.
Those are some shitty payment terms, remind me not to borrow from you again, jerkoff.

Leah understands the glass and the torch.
Both are very important when heading off to a date with an ogre.

Leah understands the importance of lifestyle change.
Especially in your 20s.

Leah understands that women's subordination to men is, under most circumstances, a fact of life.
Are you fucking kidding me?

Leah understands people go through many obstacles in life which may bring some to the feelings of helplessness.
Um, hello infertility!

Leah understands that, and works really hard to find jeans that are flattering for everyone that comes in her store.
I own 1 pair of jeans because I have a figure like a fat 14 year old boy, so I don't recommend taking any jean fashion advice from me at all.

Leah understands how lucky she is to have sole access to this fine horse.
Ah yes, Kevin loves it when I refer to him as This Fine Horse. Although he usually perfers The Stallion.

Leah understands that events are more than just cheese & cracker platters with streamers.
Yes, they are opportunities for uncomfortable clothing and mind-numbing conversation. Good times!

Leah understands to some extent what the hippies were about back then but mostly she just thinks they look really cool.
No, I actually don't. I'm more the Pottery.Barn type, not the Hippie type.

Leah understands she has multiple identities, each of them important.
Multiple personalities? No doubt.

Leah understands the special needs of the dancing community.
Ha! Have you seen Elaine dance on Seinfeld? That's the type of dancing community where I'd fit in.

Leah understands only too well, not everything always goes to plan.
You can say that again. About 1,001 times.

If you haven't done it (which nearly everyone in the blogsphere has because I'm 729 years late to this particular meme), try it out. Google your name with understands.

Have fun!

1 comment:

Lorza said...

OMG This is hysterical. I am here from Jendeis' website. HOW FUNNY!!! Leah understands women's!! That is so funny.