Thursday, March 18, 2010

How many packets of fruit snacks is too many?

There are dozens and dozens of reasons why I love our nanny. I don't *love* her in any sort of inappropriate way, I just love how well we get along and how fantastic she is with my kids. I originally thought it was because our last nanny was such a soul-sucking, wretched, miserable, bitchy hag and this one seemed wonderful only by comparison. But I was wrong. She is wonderful.

She is nearly bereft of all domestic abilities -- apparently she could burn water trying to boil it -- but I don't care. We love to see how she loads the dishwasher, it's kind of like it was done by a drunk person. Who was also blindfolded. But we find it endearing.

When she folds laundry it kinda resembles origami. But we don't mind at all. Hell, someone else is collecting, sorting, washing, drying, folding, hanging and putting away my kids' laundry. Am I really obnoxious enough to complain about it? Um, nope.

Anyway, we love her. She just had her 1 year anniversary with us and we are still thrilled with her. I could go on and on about all the reasons (more than I already have? why, yes!) but let me just share with you some of the random texts she sends me throughout the day...

  • Liam just picked up the thermometer off the changing table and poked himself in the butt with it.
  • Was screaming, now sleeping. I have no idea what just went down.
  • I had my blinker on turning our of ur neighborhood and Megan asked me if I was texting while driving. She said that's not safe.
  • Liam is smashing everything in sight with the broom. Taking him to the mall.
  • Ur son just spit OJ all over his stomach and screamed uh oh!
  • Liam just yanked out a kleenex and dusted ur living room.
  • How many packets of fruit snacks is too many?
  • Just a heads up, I just caught ur son trying to scoop the fish out of the tank with a red plastic frying pan.
  • He's an evil genuis. He's all sweet when ur here but a few minutes ago he ran into the kitchen and threw his string cheese at me.
  • Putting a tiny bottle of Smirnoff in recycling. I found it in the parking lot. It was not consumed on premises. :-)
  • He's smelling fake flowers and going "hmmmmm"
  • Hope u like messy houses.
Can you see why I love her so?


Stacie said...

The texts alone would make her worth her weight in gold! The fact that she is great with your kids...priceless!

Too funny. :-)

Delenn said...

Very funny! Love her from just those texts!

Bean said...

Oh my gosh - I'm laughing out loud. How nice for you to get those texts during the day! We have to get together so I can see the evil genius in action!

Christy said...

Would she like to relocate to Arizona? Or, can I just come to your house to hang out?

Life in Eden said...

this was so fun to read! great that you finally have such a good situation, it makes such a difference.

Nearlydawn said...

Wow - she sounds great! A little crazy, but great!

I wonder if blogger is trying to tell me something - my captcha was "tymetrap". :)

kimbosue said...

LMAO! Those texts are hilarious!

Meghan said...

Those texts are hilarious! We're going to be on the hunt for some new form of daycare/nanny soon....I dread it

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