Tuesday, March 17, 2009

100% sad about the 27%

Total number of people in Braces Bunch (1st generation, 2nd generation, rotated off): 62

Those who have given birth and are not pregnant now: 24
Those who have given birth and are pregnant again (all without ART): 4
Those who are currently pregnant: 11
Those who adopted and are not pregnant now: 2
Those who adopted and are pregnant now: 1
Those who are still trying: 17
Those who are not trying: 2
Those who are unknown (pw protected blogs that I can't access): 2

Of the 62 women, 27% are still trying. 68% of these women have realized their dream of having children. While I should be dancing in the streets at that stat (especially because -- HELLO -- I'm one of them), I'm torn to pieces about the 27% still trying. Why? Why? It's just so unfair.

I've been thrown into a tailspin by my friend Rho's latest disappointment. IVF #6 was unsuccessful. I cheerily tried to point out that since this was the first time with donor sperm, it should really count as #1 again. But I couldn't pretend like that is true when I know what her body, her heart, and her ovaries have been through during those first 5 tries.

She is incredibly angry, and I can't blame her. She says she feels "stupid" and removed her blog entirely because she couldn't bear to look so "stupid." While you and I both know she is anything but stupid for working so hard to have a child, it doesn't help her right now. It is a crying shame when someone as wonderful as her is crushed by this bastard called IF.

This will be a the top of the list when I get to the Pearly Gates. In the meantime, I will continue to pray for any and all of my sisters in the trenches.

14 comments:

Delenn said...

I have often thought about the BBers and how we have been doing. It was very cool of you to actually do the work that I only had a half a mind to do!

And yes, even with the successes--there are the ones who are still in the trenches. And it is so unfair. Every time I hear a people talking lightly about their procreation...not only does it hit me close to home, but make me feel sympathy for those still trying to have what so many others take for granted.

It is so wrong that IF can beat down so many good, deserving people.

Thank you for reminding us.

I wish Rho the best and hope that she finds a way, somehow.

Meghan said...

I'm with ya. I will never undrstand why it is so hard for so many people. Let Rho know I'm thinking of her

LJ said...

Aww Rho! This is just so unfair...

Fertilized said...

Oh , It's good to see thie stats this way.

I am also grieving the 27% with you. My heart aches for so many woman every day

Artblog said...

With you here sista, I feel exactly the same, you never forget that pain, ever:( That's why I still blog, I want to see everyone on my blogroll a success one day.

x

Caro said...

Another one who wonders about the BBers even though I'm currently away from the group I try to keep up with the original groups blogs. It's good to see the figures and I'm so sad for those still trying.

Sticks and Stims said...

Hi there - I just found your blog and I hope you do not mind I used your POAS with pics post as the best depiction of the process on my blog.

And I feel the pain too.

Somewhat Ordinary said...

Gosh, 27% is a lot and it makes me mad! How long has BB been around 2 1/2 years or so. It should be 100% by now.

La La said...

It's survivor's guilt. I have it too. Now worse than ever. I wish more than anything that I could "fix" things for all of our friends who are "still in the trenches". My heart breaks for them becuase I've BEEN there...

Sticks and Stims said...

Thanks for the support - I really appreciate it.

Rho said...

Thanks for the sweet words Leah, you have been there every step of the way for me and I am forever grateful. I am slowly getting over the self-pity/self-loathing and will charge on....heck, I have 5 more tries to blow.

Kami said...

That is sad. I hope things turn around for Rho.

Rho said...

I am back. Started a new blog :)

AJ's mommy said...

I found your blog from KJ and the kids and was laughing at your explanation about seeing her on the show and your response to your hubby... Anyhow.. I feel the same way when I explain all my blog peeps to my partner.. hee hee. I hope you don't mind if I follow your blog...