Tuesday, August 21, 2007

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Good: First day of injections went well.

Bad: I have a pounding headache, but it's not related to the stims. I think it's a sinus headache.

Good: A friend of mine is doing her 2nd IVF and got 8 eggs at her retrieval today.

Bad: Her 1st IVF resulted in a long, drawn-out miscarriage. I hope that doesn't happen to them again.

Good: I have an acupuncture appointment tonight. I'm really looking forward to it!

Ugly: I am a horrible person because I just found out my boss is pregnant and I'm having a hard time being genuinely happy for her. She's 40, has a high FSH, and seriously resisted any and all forms of ART. She finally agreed to do this IUI and BAM, she's pregnant on the first try. I guess I feel like a failure -- I've done 4 IUIs and 2 IVFs, with no pregnancy to show for it -- so it's more about my feelings of inadequacy. I just endured 2 co-workers' pregnancies and pretended to be happy. Why do I have to live through another while I sit on the side lines merely watching?

That's a rhetorical question, no need to answer.

Ugh.

13 comments:

Gabby said...

Leah, sorry about your headache. :\ Hopefully the accu tonight will help with that. As for your friend, that is great! I hope her the best on this cycle. As for the ugly, I am sorry that you have to endure that esspecially with beginning a new cycle. Everytime I get a new pregnancy annoucement, I just want to pack up and move away. Life can seem to be so cruel. I am sending you lots of hugs and prayers.

Jenna said...

Ahh yes, the good, the bad, and the ugly of IF. Seems like everyday brings a bit of all three.

I'll be thinking about you and hoping that it will be your pg announcement at work next.

Karen said...

Oh Leah, I'm sorry about your boss. I'm thinking of you and wishing you all the best.

Reproductive Jeans said...

More good than bad, right?=)
Its hard to be happy go lucky when you want what they have...its OK to feel the way you do...
Be sure to come over and get your bling from my blog;)

Caro said...

There's always the ugly. I'm sorry about your boss.

Rachel said...

Glad about the goods. Sorry about the bads. As for the ugly -- I'm just so sorry. It sucks. It all just sucks and is totally unfair. I'm sorry.

Lea Bee said...

ugh, i know exactly what you mean. i recently met a 40+ yo woman who was pregnant after her husband had a vasectomy. oy.

Shelli said...

ugh is right.... I so know it. Thinking positive for you.

Fertilize Me said...

Well Yah for the goods, Crapity crap for the bads! I hope the headache goes away soon

Kristen said...

I'm so sorry you have to witness yet another co-worker's pregnancy. It is always so hard to hear when it is is someone else and not you.

I'm thinking of you and I hope your accu goes well tonight!

My Reality said...

The ugly really isn't so bad. Don't beat yourself up over it.

Kami said...

I will answer just the same - it is freaking unfair! Better to just not compare, but so hard to do. I hope you get your own miracle soon.

Grad3 said...

You should post a sign on your door that says, "No one like a show- off."