Wednesday, August 15, 2007

I Heart Needles

I mean, could there be any other explanation for why I love to pay people thousands of dollars to shove needles into me all the time? I bet my RE's office could provide Red Cross Bloodbank-style relief for an entire disaster-stricken country with all the blood I've given them.

Currently, my love affair with needles is back in full swing, however, because I went to the acupuncturist yesterday. I think she put about 728 needles in me as she politely pronounced me a "trainwreck." She even went so far as to suggest that I might want to wait another couple of months to do this cycle until I have my body in a better state of affairs. I didn't mean for my response to come out as a shriek, something in a pitch so high that only dogs and dolphins could hear, when I said, "WHAT?! Don't you know I'm losing about 4,000 eggs each month?!" She and I both know that is a gross exaggeration, but she has the experience and good sense not to argue with me. Instead, she got to work turning me into the Human Pincushion.

Just to recap, I am a huge fan of acupuncture. Four years ago I was a skeptic, but was desperate to try whatever I could to get pregnant (since we'd already tried 16 months of well-timed sex, Clomid, HSG, etc.). After a couple months of acupuncture, I got pregnant with Megan. Fast forward past Megan's birth. We tried for 6 months, then I went to acupuncture again. After a couple of months of treatment, I got pregnant again. That one didn't end so well, but it's certainly no fault of the acupuncture.

Since embarking on the ART escapades of the last year and a half, I remained faithful to my acupuncture treatment schedule. It seems wildly counter-intuitive to think that paying someone to jab dozens of needles into your body would be so relaxing. But it is. Soooooo relaxing. Like a drug. Anyway, after the 1st IVF when I miscarried, I just got pissed.

I was pissed that I was doing all this shit to get pregnant: eating organic, doing relaxation CDs, doing Yoga for Fertility, acupuncture, tons of drugs, meditating, blah blah blah. Yet, all around me, complete knuckleheads were getting knocked up accidentally on a weekly basis. So I got resentful of all the time, effort and money I was pouring into the complimentary items and I stopped.

During the 2nd IVF I did practically nothing. I spent a lot of time with the fertility stone that Lara sent me, and did an awful lot of comfort eating (if you don't believe me, just ask my groaning scale). I had fantasies about the post I was going to write after I got pregnant from the 2nd IVF about how all that shit was unnecessary (for me, at least). Then we had the disaster of IVF #2.

I still kept my head buried in the sand, or actually in the fridge, and started feeling worse and worse. I have been getting terrible headaches, I'm not sleeping well, I'm exhausted all the time, and my stomach is a complete wreck. A couple of weeks ago I decided that I needed to just get this shit under control. So I joined Weight Watchers, started doing my breathing exercises, started eating better (still not exactly great, but much better) and went to acupuncture.

Without a doubt, the 1 acupuncture session I had yesterday made a significant impact. For almost 24 hours now, I've been more relaxed than I remember being in months. I might even go so far as to say that I could see the word "hopeful" on my horizon somewhere. (Pretty gutsy for someone who hasn't even had a baseline scan or started stims.) Whatever the reason, however long it lasts, I'm just thankful for the reprieve.

Cycle Update

Kevin and I had to go give blood this morning to update our Infectious Disease bloodwork. Apparently it's only good for a year. Since over the past year I've been intimate more often with the dildocams and catheters at my RE's office than I have with my own husband, I find it hilarious that they need to check me for STDs. Um, hello, if I have any, then YOU PEOPLE gave them to me! :-)

I'm still trudging through BCPs. My last one is on Friday, so my eval u/s and bw are on Saturday morning. Assuming everything is fine (no cysts, nothing else funky going on), I'll start stims on Monday. For whatever reason, this 3 weeks of BCPs dragged by very, very slowly. I'm not sure if it's because I consider this whole last try to be something akin to a Death March, and that's making everything happen in slooooow motion. Or perhaps it's because I'm so exhausted (physically and emotionally) that I feel like I'm moving through jello most of the time.

But with my rediscovered love of acupuncture, I expect much of this lethargy and general malcontented attitude to dissipate. That sentence had a whole bunch of SAT words in it, huh? See, my mind is sharpening already!

13 comments:

Fertilize Me said...

YAH for acupuncture. We are in the mist of switching insurance and I shold see if they cover that for me! As for eating for comfort and such -- Oh boy do i heart food after a failed (or many failed) cycle. After our lil routine with the RE moving towards IUI's i too have abandoned the organic, metformin, breating exercise ..or any exercise at al, lifestyle. because it didn't seem to matter to me either - I REaLLY should post how many copious amounts of Sonny's Sweet teas and sweet sauce i consumed. GOOOd Job for you though! Weight Watchers is pretty easy to handle - good luck to you on that

Reproductive Jeans said...

Lovely accu! It is GOOD stuff=)
Hmmmm yea, I can identify with food=comfort. Too much right now, Im afraid....that and WINE. Mmm wine, I missed you....
Anyway...already sending you good positive happy vibes for your upcoming cycle...

LJ said...

Ugh, I really should go back to acupuncture, but I haven't. I feel like it did relax me. But now that I have to pay out of pocket for it, it just seems terribly expensive, you know?

My Reality said...

I got stuck tonight. I used to absolutely love going to acupuncture. Now it is becoming a pain. After this cycle, I am calling it quits with acupuncture for a while.

I hope that this cycle goes well.

Maybe I should be accountable to you for my weight watchers. I am not doing so well on my own (following it online.) I just love to eat.

Changing Expectations said...

Glad to hear that acupuncture is so relaxing. I enjoyed it while I was doing it, but it was so expensive and far away from home.

We had to do the STD panel again recently. Good times.

Can't wait to see you on Sunday.

Waiting Amy said...

I'm glad the acu help and you are starting to feel on top of things. IF just sucks and screws up your life.

I'm thinking of you lots as you enter this cycle. I know all of the scary emotions that go along with where you are at in the scheme of things. Feel free to email me any time (waitingamy at gmail). Sending lots of good thoughts your way and will be following your stims! :)

Pamela Jeanne said...

"She politely pronounced me a 'trainwreck.' -- LOL I got the same response when the acupuncturist looked at my tongue ;-). They know their stuff.

Acupuncture rocks! I used it on my last IVF (wished I'd found it earlier) and the results were eye-popping on the u/s. Even my expert RE gasped. Equally important to me was the relaxation factor. LOVED it. I may just go back for that reason alone. Hope it works wonders for you...

Artblog said...

So sorry your in a shitty place right now, I really hope the acu. keeps working. BIG ol hugs from me my dear XXXXXX

Becks said...

Thanks for the advice on the folly/eggs stuff...I am sure we all go slightly insane from all the thoughts going through our heads.

I started acu with this treatment, I had never had it before, so thought, hey I'll try anything once. But maybe there's something in it...I know I am on a higher stim dose and my thyroid level is now balanced but there's some reason why I am responding better this time and maybe its a combination of everything.

Good luck for the scan and for stims next week.

Kami said...

I love acu too. I no longer feel that it will help us conceive, but still feel it is great for my mood and general health. I hope the good moods continue for you.

dmarie said...

Your post really makes me want to try acupuncture. Perhaps I can get the name of the person you see on Sunday :)

Lea Bee said...

your mind is sharpening, just like the needles ;>

Grad3 said...

I love acu too :) Now that I am back, I need to set up my appt's again. Like you I took a break after this last m/c.

Whoever said that therapeutic eating wasn't helpful? I also firmly believe in retail therpay :)

Crossing all fingers for the elusive 2nd earth baby :)