Thursday, September 6, 2007

2 for the price of 1

Picture this scene… It’s transfer time. I’m lying on the table, knees spread nice and wiiiiiide apart, bright light shining on my could-be-manicured-a-little-better womanhood, speculum wrenching my girlie bits wide, painfully inserted catheter hanging out, 400 pound gorilla pushing the ultrasound probe on my full bladder so hard I think it’s going to pop like a well-fed tick. Everyone is gathered ‘round my crotch staring with an intensity so sharp that I expect them to start munching on popcorn and Raisinettes at any moment.

Mr. Hot-But-I-Look-Dumb Embryologist comes with in our 3 fabulous embies, glances at my fully-exposed private parts (with nary a complimentary word, hmmph), and hands the embryos to the Doctor. Said Doctor pushes the plunger and shazam! In go our embies. Much celebrating and high-fiving occurs.

Now we all sit very still for 1 minute to let things “rest.” Everyone in the room is clothed except me. Everyone in the room has their sexual organs covered except me. Everyone in the room is staring at my crotch except me.* It’s a super-dee-duper comfortable situation.

The Doctor smiles, says that everything went “perfect” and gives the catheter to Mr. HBILD Embryologist to check and make sure none of the embryos got “stuck” and left behind in the catheter. Since this really never happens, we all assume it’s fine and they begin to dismantle the scene – the sonographer starts cleaning up the 14 pounds of goo she put on my abdomen to slide the probe around, the Doctor takes out the speculum and begins to lower the table. I start dreaming of baby names.

Suspiciously, that damn Embryologist isn’t back yet. Ms. Doctor sticks her head out the door into the Lab and asks, “All clear?” I’m sure you can guess where this is going.

Sure enough, one of the embryos is stuck in the catheter. The Doctor quickly covers and says, “Oh, it’s not a big deal, it happens.” To which I reply, “Really? How often?” She says, “About 5% of the time.” Great. She then spent lots of time reassuring me that this will not affect the outcome of embryonic health of our future child(ren). Amazingly, I didn’t freak out, I just sort of accepted it.

So, as I was supposed to be letting the wave of peace and calm overtake me, instead I was basically enjoying a 2nd transfer. Lather, rinse, repeat. Raise the table up, let your knees fall to the side, insert the speculum, jab in the catheter, slime me with goo and crush my bladder/uterus, etc. Big fun. However, this time, that 3rd one made it to the other side. To the oasis that is my Enclave.

Everyone present agreed that if that 3rd one is the one that sticks, we have a long road ahead of us because it will have been a troublemaker since before it entered the womb. Great, just great.

I wanted to name the embies Frick, Frack and Trouble. That got vetoed. I think we are going to settle on The SuperHeroes: Batman, Robin and Spidey**. I chose Batman and Robin because those two sailed right in together with no problem. Spidey is the one with the sticky feet who refused to climb on out of the catheter. Hopefully the 3 of them are in there, solving crimes (such as oh, I don’t know, The Mystery of the Multiple Miscarriages) and saving all of uterine humanity. I’m proud of them already.

So there you have it. The Tale of the Two Transfers. I don’t recommend it. However, if this cycle works, then I could have gladly endured 200 transfers in a row if that’s what was necessary.

Beta is set for September 20th. Yeah, about 100 years away. Seriously, they purposely schedule it for 18dpo. Isn’t that insane? Whatever. I will be POAS next Wednesday (10dpo). Kevin asked me not to, but I simply cannot refrain. I just can’t, I’m not that person. I’m the kind that pees on sticks. I guess he knows that because the other day he said, “You’ll have to tell me when you start taking home tests, because I know you will.” This is why I married him.

* I let Kevin read this before I posted it and he was quick to point out that HE wasn’t getting to stare at my crotch. I think he said it in an effort to make me feel better, but really it just underscored that 4 other complete strangers were oogling me while, once again, my poor husband is left out of the process. Talk about demystifying the passion of babymaking…

** Obviously, I shamelessly stole the inspiration for our embryo names from Erin. Now hop over there and send her some sticky vibes for the Wonder Twins!

22 comments:

Fertilize Me said...

It is Always an adventure with your posts. I am sorry that you had 2 transfers in 1 day ..but you are right, It will be worth it when Batman, Robin, and Spidey solve the mysterious of the Ute. Here's to praying that spidey uses his web sticky shooter thingy (technical term you may not be familiar with, haha) for 9 good healthy months

Sunny said...

You always make me laugh.

Fingers Crossed and legs too!!!

My Reality said...

Two transfers. At least you got a little more for you money!

I am glad that all 3 are on board.

Von said...

Just typical. Thank God they do check post transfer.
Wishing you all the best of luck and look forward to some good news in two weeks.

Tam said...

Oh my goodness, what a story. Don't you just loooove those transfers!! I'm hoping that you get good news when you POAS!!

Funny thing, I was reading your post and thinking, would I name my little embryo's if I had some put back, I'm such a doofus...I have done this part already (but have a very slippery mind nowdays) and didn't name them, maybe that's the trick...last time they didn't feel welcome?? Maybe, just maybe :)

Portia P said...

How lovely for you.

I so enjoy lying flat out with my bits exposed for the crowd. That and the gorgeous progesterone pessaries are my favourite parts of the process.

Still got lots crossed for the superheroes

xx

Artblog said...

Good names, good story :) Crossing everything for you. Do they really make you wait 18 days to test?

Rho said...

Oh, you know K caught a peek of the naughty region. GL with the beta waiting game (huh!), it is the day before your SGW's b-day and I think that is a good sign.

Changing Expectations said...

Man oh man, two trys at setting up for transfer. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Did you at least have some Vitamin V? My personal transfer relaxation drug of choice.

Now, some stern words for Batman, Robin and Spidey. Hang in there guys grow big and strong so that much crime may be fought.

Waiting Amy said...

Oh My, what an adventure! Good for you for remaining calm!

So glad to hear the League of Justice has relocated to your Ute. I know they will defeat evil MM (mult. m/c) and save the universe!

Sorry about the 18 day wait though!

LJ said...

Wow. that's insanity with the two transfers. And let's say that spidey is super sticky and thus will implant nicely!

Grad3 said...

So glad that things went well and you only had to expose your crotch to half the staff- twice :)I am sending you positive thoughts, energy, and prayers. Hang in there, the good news is that the 20th WILL come. Eventually.

(Please, no congrats yet for me but thanks for thinking it- for me it's a jinx :)

dmarie said...

Ok, I don't wanna laugh--but..."could-be-manicured-a-little-better womanhood" lol! Ahemm...ok. I'm glad you made it through and the "Justice League" as AmyR said are nicely resting :)

Kami said...

I've had the 2 transfer deal too! My RE always waits for the go ahead from the embryologist before proceeding so it wasn't a big deal. Their stats actually show an increased chance of a BFP with two transfers.

Here comes the wait . . .

Erin said...

OMG - that sucks. It is such an uncomfortable experience, there's really no need to do it twice. But I bet Spidey's the one!

I can't believe you have to wait until the 20th for your beta. Cruel. I'm going to try holding out on the stick peeage, but you never know...

So far this 2ww is killing me - you?

Kristen said...

Love that story. What a nice one to tell your future child(ren).

I hope Spidey hangs on tight for 9 months! Good luck with the POAS. I'll be checking in.

xoxo

nancy said...

You have a knack at bringing out a smile in a smileless day.

stick embies STICK!!!

chicklet said...

Two transfers, odd, but a very fun story if it works:-) Good luck.

Suzy said...

Oh, how you so perfectly described the ET. But to have one stuck! Now that's a new one...
Good luck!!

The Oneliner (Christina) said...

OMG that is so funny. Well, this is sure going to make a good story one day.

Karen said...

2 for the price of 1 indeed! (You'd better check your bill carefully and make sure it's not 2 for the price of 2! JUST KIDDING)

Good luck! I'm thinking of you even though I'm not in blogland as often as I was before. I totally agree with you that bed rest sucks. I've been doing this for almost three months now and it hasn't gotten any more fun yet.

Personally, I like frick, frack, and trouble (though spidey for the sticky feet is a pretty good choice). Can I call the triplets frick, frack and trouble when they come out? :) I never did come up with any names to call them in utero, and now they're almost out it seems odd to start calling them something now!

Lara said...

Hey Leah! I don't know if this will make you feel good about things or not, but as you know, my last cycle worked, for a while anyway, so where I am going with this is that when we did my last transfer, one of them got stuck in the catheter! Maybe its a lucky sign! Good luck woman...I wish it was me already getting back in the game...but I'll have my chance in the next month or so I hope!